Web Relic Showcase: Cap’n’ Wacky’s Boatload of Love

Cap'n' Wacky's Boatload of Love
Screenshot of Cap’n’ Wacky’s Boatload of Love homepage

Name: Cap’n’ Wacky’s Boatload of Love
URL: http://www.capnwacky.com/valentines/index.html
Year Created: 2000
Year Abandoned: 2001 (Minor update in 2010)

Valentine’s Day is one of those days that people have mixed feelings about. For those who would rather see a more humorous side of Valentine’s Day, it can be found on pages like Cap’n’ Wacky’s Boatload of Love.

Pink, red and white set the tone for all-things Valentine’s Day on this section of Cap’n’ Wacky’s main website. From creepy old-timey V-day cards, to relationship advice, to anything else pertaining to the day, Cap’n’ Wacky gives users humour rather than expected love-cliches. Some jokes are buried under references (see also: Valentine’s Day Practices on the Klingon Homeworld) for a more niche audience, but the majority of content can be enjoyed by the general public just as well.

Since its creation in 2000, the “Gallery of Unfortunate Valentine’s Day Cards” and “Advice from Zonar The Love Doctor” have been site staples, with the “Valentine’s Day/Romantic Comedy Lists” added later.

Weird old Valentine's Day Card
Nothing says “happy Valentine’s Day” quite like cheating on your lover with not one, but two other people! Kids today just don’t understand! (From page 26 of Unfortunate Valentine’s Day cards)

Unfortunate Valentine’s Day Cards takes us back to what appears to be the early-to-mid 20th century as a showcase of some of the weirdest and creepiest Valentine’s Day cards from the past. The Cap’n’s resident robot love doctor, Zonar, gives quality relationship advice in the special Valentine’s Day edition of his column. Comedy lists on the site also give insight to what Cupid hates, how Klingons celebrate Valentine’s Day, more ways to leave your lover (previously unspecified by Paul Simon), and ways to find out if the person you’re dating is actually a Canadian.

For a Web 1.0 website, the design isn’t bad. While it’s simple, it’s not as ugly and cluttered as many sites from that era. This is especially due to the fact that it doesn’t feature as many visual quirks as sites from its time.

The site’s copyright date is 2000, and the last update appears to have taken place in 2010. Despite that only being 7 years ago, the update included the addition of the links found at the bottom of the page, all of which was created in the mid 2000’s. Wayback Machine archives of the site show sections not included on the current page, such as a (now broken) “choose your own adventure” game from 2001.

Cap’n’ Wacky’s creators, Amalgamated Humor, also have a link to other holiday pages if you enjoy humour during the off-season. Amalgamated Humor has a website that has not been updated since 2009, whereas the Cap’n’ Wacky website has not been updated since 2011.

What’s the most bizarre Valentine’s Day card you’ve ever encountered? Share your story in the comments.

Have a suggestion for a future post? Have a net memory of your own that you’d like to share? Send an e-mail to thenetstorian@gmail.com.

Author: The Netstorian

Internet culture enthusiast and creator of The Netstorian.

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